Saturday, February 27, 2021
Monday, February 22, 2021
Morningstar: Chapter 25 Animal Spirits
Chapter 25: Animal Spirits
Sometime in the
night I awoke from a dream with an overwhelming urge to tell my friends. I needed someone to listen. Someone to talk to. Overpowering feelings of agitation and fear
were wringing my mind and every part of my body. I was completely covered in sweat. Cold, chilling sweat.
“Amanda, wake
up! AMANDA, AMANDA, WAKE UP!” I shook her harder and harder; but she didn’t
or couldn’t move. Turning to my other
side; “D’Lisa, D’LISA!” I couldn’t shake
her awake either. Beth was on the other
side of Amanda and was so still I couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. I reached to touch and shake her, but quickly
withdrew my hand from her cold skin. I
started screaming. Something had
happened to my best friends. Suddenly
something was happening to Amanda. She
started changing, slowly changing.
Amanda was gradually shrinking. I
called her name over and over again as she went through some kind of
metamorphosis, turning into a hummingbird then flying in place, just staring at
me. Both D’Lisa and Beth then started changing
like Amanda, so very slowly. D’Lisa into
a big horn sheep and Beth into an Irish Setter.
They all awoke and rose from the bed, with Amanda flying from me to Beth
to D‘Lisa and back around again. The
hummingbird, Amanda just staring at each of us.
Suddenly we were
all outside. Somewhere, someplace, far
away from any homes or civilization. In
the distance I could hear Bekah screaming and running towards us. This was no controlled, confident
stride. She would trip over clumps of
grass or sod and fall. Still shrieking
really, she would pick herself up, in a panic and run towards us and the very
large green stone I now realized we were standing on. Her face was filled with revulsion, horror
and sheer terror. Then I saw him, or we
saw him. It was Sid. He kept changing between the appearance of a Komodo
dragon and a king cobra. There was still
some distance, but he was gaining on Bekah.
Two other figures
then appeared from different directions.
One was another Irish Setter and as it approached, I knew it was Jason;
who first ran up next to Beth and then looked at Amanda as she flew down to him
and rested herself on his nose looking into his eyes for a brief second. I didn’t know the other figure at first and
thought it might be a wolf then realized it was a coyote. It was still in the distance, running towards
us; but I knew it had to be Bobby. For
some reason it seemed like I could see Bobby, not running towards us, on top of
the ground, but somehow through the stone from another world or dimension.
The stone we were
standing on then started trembling and a fissure opened, leaving a wide crack
or hole. … Just as it was opening Bekah arrived next to us, panting, out of
breath, followed almost immediately by Sid, who as a cobra, struck and bit me,
then as the Komodo dragon shot his long tongue out at Bekah, wrapping it around
and seizing her. Bekah and I were the
only ones who looked human by then. I
fell to the ground in convulsions.
Out of the opening
in the stone came two grizzlies. I knew
they were grizzlies because of the distinct humps on their back. Amanda was poking at Sid’s eyes, Beth and
Jason were baring teeth and just about to lunge and D’Lisa had her head down
just about to butt into Sid…
Before my friends
could do anything, the two grizzlies who had just emerged from the stone,
grabbed Sid and we all fell through what was now a large fissure into a
different world. It was cold, very very
cold. There was snow on much of the
ground with some deciduous trees close by, and a mountain forest in the
distance… surrounding us on three sides. I was too ill to stand; but more bighorn sheep
came running towards us and a black eagle which somehow, I knew was Charlie
calling even more bighorn sheep, flew to help us. Charlie picked me up with his talons and
placed me on the back of one of the rams.
By this time, the grizzlies had finished Sid, tearing his head off with its
enormous claws. One of the grizzlies had
been wounded by Sid and was dragging a hind leg. The other grabbed Bekah. The two grizzlies left towards the north,
dragging Bekah with them. I don’t know
how I knew it; but somehow, I knew they were traveling north. More cobras started appearing behind us and
on both sides as we traveled north, following Bekah. Beth, Jason, Amanda, D’Lisa and Charlie were
all fighting the cobras. Three or four
more grizzlies appeared behind the snakes which were attacking us from
behind. By this time Bobby had caught up
to us and was helping fight off the cobras and keep the grizzlies at bay. Charlie, seeing how sick I was and knowing I
was about to die, directed us to stop by another large stone protruding from a
hill and struck it with a stone he was carrying in a bag around his neck. All the rest continued to fight the cobras
who were now also fighting the grizzlies in their rear. More snakes, rattle snakes began to
appear. They made the sound of terrifying
loud rattles, vibrating in unison, almost surrounding our little group. More snakes then began to appear, I thought
this was it, all hope for our little group was lost. I didn’t recognize these snakes, but they
were a yellowish color with black or reddish blotches. Instead of attacking us, they helped to
defend us from the rattle snakes.
Then he
appeared. Tye. It was the first time I’d seen him clearly,
grown, almost to manhood. He was
gorgeous, an African, Asian Adonis. I
was totally and completely enraptured and desperately desired to reach out and
stroke his perfect face; but knew I wouldn’t have dared even if I had the
strength. Swiftly but gently, he swooped
down and picked me up from the ram’s back and carried me in his arms, leading
us down another path. We were no longer
following Bekah and those two grizzlies but were still being chased by three or
four grizzlies and now scores of cobras and what seemed like hundreds of rattle
snakes. As we ran down the path being
led by Tye, the big horn sheep, and by now there were many, were holding off
the grizzlies. Bobby, Jason, Beth,
Charlie, and even Amanda were fighting the cobras. The yellowish snakes were mostly fighting the
rattlers. Amanda would stab a grizzly or
cobra in the eye with her beak. Charlie
used his sharp talons, and the razor-sharp teeth of the rest were brought to bear
against the cobras and grizzlies all around us.
As we moved along
the path we came to an area of steep mountainous cliffs. On our right, a sheer wall and on the left, a
steep drop, hundreds of feet to the bottom.
The path was only a few feet wide and very dangerous; however, it kept
us from being attacked from either side.
The grizzlies, rattlers, and cobras were only able to press us from behind;
but we had the advantage of the air as both Amanda and Charlie could fly and
attack our pursuers from above. Hard to
believe, a little hummingbird defending me and attacking creatures much much
larger than she. On the other side of
the deep ravine on our left was a mountain, steeped in mist with what looked
like a thousand chimneys nestled into the mountain canyons, crevices, and
ravines, with wisps of mist rising gently in columns towards an ominously dark
blue sky. Just as I felt all would be
lost, that there was no hope for our tiny group, the path opened into a field,
an orchard of some kind. The sun was
becoming brighter and the sky a lighter blue.
Tye, beautiful Tye, carried me, and led the rest of us through the
orchard towards a clearing. By this time,
I could see what I had previously sensed that both Beth and D’Lisa had been
badly hurt. Jason and Bobby were also wounded,
but it didn’t seem near as serious as it was for Beth and D’Lisa. I didn’t know if they had been struck by the
snakes or mauled by the bears, but both Beth and D’Lisa were now carried by
rams. Bobby and Jason were limping and
slowly dragging at least one leg. I also
realized they had all, at least partially returned to human form.
As we approached
the clearing there was a very large white dragon, flying in place, in midair. It’s underbelly and body were in full view as
it flapped its enormous wings. I was
frightened at first and made a pleading look at Tye, wondering why he brought
us here.
Sensing my fear,
Tye looked into my eyes and said; “it’s fine, you’ll be ok. Everyone who comes here will be ok.”
Soon I started
feeling life return to my body. The
radiance of the sun and the fire of the dragon covered me like a warm soothing
blanket that healed and gave me energy.
I was regaining my strength and after just a few moments Tye put me
down. I was able to walk again. We had all slowed to an almost casual
walk. Everyone had completely returned
to human form. The snakes were gone,
except a few of the yellowish ones, most of the grizzlies had turned another
direction; but one was still with us and had also changed to human form. I watched him change, slowly and what even
appeared to be, painfully. And as he
changed my fear of him dispersed. Once
changed, he seemed almost jubilant.
D’Lisa and Beth were now whole again, completely human, completely
healed. Bobby had returned to human form
and was healed; but said he had to leave and returned back in the direction
from which we had just come. Back
through the danger on his own. I tried
to call out to him to not go; but he just waved and said it was something he must
do. Everyone was back to human form;
though I noticed Charlie still had his prosthetic leg. Many of the bighorn sheep were still with us
and had also changed to humans. Many
others had been wounded; but all were healed or were in the process of healing
and growing in strength.
The dragon
continued to flap its broad white wings, then rose straight into the sky and
disappeared into the sun. Soon after the
departure of the dragon, the group started talking, arguing a little about
where we needed to go and what we needed to do from there. With urgency, I declared we had to save
Bekah. After some more discussion
everyone agreed and we turned north again, hoping to find her and bring her
home. Charlie sent some of the rams, now
men, to search ahead of us. Some
followed after Bobby, others in a more northerly direction.
The next thing I
remembered was being in my bed again trying to wake everyone up. The clock on my bed stand said: 7:30. I
started shaking each person individually.
“Guys wake up. I’ve got to talk to you.”
Beth woke up pretty
easily, rubbing her eyes.
All Amanda said was
“what?” then sat up half asleep.
“I’ve got to tell
you guys about the weirdest dream I just had.”
D’’Lisa just
groaned and turned over.
“Hey, you’ve gotta
wake up too. You were in it.”
“Was Tom in it?”
“No silly; but
please wake up anyway.”
All four of us were
finally sitting up and I began at the beginning and told them everything I
could remember, exactly as I remembered it.
Morningstar: Chapter 24: Resilience
Chapter 24: Resilience
That night was my
most intense dream so far, at least that I could remember. Alan, Cara, and what appeared to be the
seven-year-old Tye and five-year-old Mia were all there at the beginning. I spoke with each of them individually. Cara gave me a hug and I remember her
whispering; “we look forward to seeing you again.” I then lowered myself into a
squatting position and gave Tye a hug and kiss on the forehead. All the sudden I found myself five years old
again and throwing my arms around Mia. It
felt like we were the best of friends, like I had known her my whole life. Immediately I felt a surge of jealousy that
Beth had those years with her and then I thought how silly that was.
Suddenly,
Beth, D’Lisa, Amanda, Mia, and I were all together. We were about fifteen or sixteen years old,
hanging out in the mall, just being girls. We ran into two of Beth’s other
friends, Jacklynn and Alesha. We talked
for a few minutes, then Alesha and Jacklynn left the mall. The other Lings were gone from this part of
the dream. The five of us got something
to drink and some fries and sat down in the food court. I remember D’Lisa had a diet coke, Beth a root
beer, Amanda sprite, Mia lemonade, and I had an Italian soda. Everything was good… everything was fabulous.
As we
were talking, mostly about boys, Amanda, and I both noticed Bekah, panicked,
running into the room from a long dark hallway. As soon as she noticed us, she slowed to a
more controlled quick walk, lifting her head… and nose, and grabbing a
newspaper which had been left on a nearby table, she walked up to the five of
us.
Addressing
the five of us, she asked, or rather said; “you don’t mind if I sit with you,”
as she grabbed a chair from a nearby table and placed it between me and
Beth. Without saying another word, she
immediately buried her face in the newspaper she had picked up.
The next thing I
remembered was Carl running into the food court turning his head and yelling;
“I didn’t say anything.” Sid came
running after Carl carrying a handgun.
He pointed the gun, and I heard a loud pop or bang. Carl fell dead, I don’t know how but I just
knew he was dead. Out of the corner of
my eye, I saw two other people, one man and one woman in a shadow by another
hall leading to the food court restrooms. Both of the two people in the shadows
also had guns, which they quickly put away as soon as Carl fell. Bekah was trembling; but didn’t say a word;
she just buried her face deeper into the paper like she might somehow crawl
inside. Some people in the mall were
screaming. Some were turning their
tables on their side and ducking behind them. None of us moved. It was like we were petrified with fear and
couldn’t move. Then Sid spotted Amanda
and me and turned his gun toward us. Before we could react or Sid could pull
his trigger, I woke up screaming. Not wanting
anyone to hear, I immediately pressed both hands over my mouth until my screams
turned to hyperventilation. I knew my
mom would want to talk about it if she heard me and that was the last thing I
wanted to do, at the moment. Maybe she’d
even want me to see someone and I sure didn’t want that!
It was only two in
the morning, so I made a futile attempt to breathe deeply, think happier
thoughts, and get back to sleep. Within
about an hour I had given up, gotten up, and started reading my history.
Having slept
little, I was still pretty tired when I got to school.
Monday morning
meant Mrs. Jennings and English first hour.
She had decided that since so many in the country were struggling, she
wanted us to write a five-page double spaced paper on challenges either we,
members of our immediate family or some of our ancestors had gone through. She emphasized that it couldn’t be a current
struggle, it had to be about something in the past that had been overcome ore
resolved. She called it, “resiliency.” A few of the papers would be picked to read
to the class. That left out my move to
Logan or anything about the Lings, Charlie, Sid, or Bobby. I wouldn’t want to share anything about any
of that with Mrs. Jennings, let alone the whole class. Other than our current financial problems or
maybe living with a brother with Downs and a myrid of health problems, I
couldn’t think of anything and those were both ongoing too. Besides, I thought to myself, T.J. wasn’t
really all that bad.
By the time I got
to lunch Amanda, D’Lisa, and Beth had all received the same assignment from
Mrs. Jennings and were all saying it would be easy. Bekah was noticeably absent from the lunchroom;
but the rest of her klatch were there.
Some actually looked kind-of lost without her. A brunette with long curled brown hair by the
name of Cynthia appeared to be trying to take charge. The four of us finalized our plans for
Friday, finished eating and departed for our next class.
That night I had
another very strange, really even more bizarre than strange dream. It was early in the morning and I could hear
a horrible blizzard outside. The winds
were howling. Just the sound made me
shiver uncontrollably. When I woke up,
wondering if perhaps there had actually been a storm, I looked out my window
and it was calm and quiet with no new snow and not even a cloud in the sky.
Tuesday morning, I
sat with Amanda in Mrs. Young’s class.
Bekah was missing again; but Amanda said she heard Carl’s funeral was
later that afternoon. Amanda and I ate
lunch together, Beth was sitting with some other friends and, to both mine and
Amanda’s astonishment, Tom had asked D’Lisa to eat with him (Tom has always
been so shy and awkward around her) and the two of them were off in a corner.
“So, how’s things
at your house?”
“Not so good. They were talking then one of them said
something that made the other one mad and talk turned into fight.”
“You’re
kidding. I thought…”
“Me too; but mom
left last night and went to a friend’s. My mom can blow up at the littlest things, but
it’s not all her fault. They still might
work things out. Beth’s parents invited
them to spend a couple days at the cabin in a couple weeks. They’re both still planning on going. Maybe that’ll help. I don’t know.”
“Sorry.”
“Me too. It’s hardly ever quiet at my place. My dad and I have so much family around here,
there’s people in and out all the time.
Sometimes my mom has a hard time with all the family. I hope they can work it out. Maybe they need to move someplace away from
here; but I don’t think my dad would ever do that. There’s lots of older relatives that kind-of
depend on him.”
That evening I
asked both my parents if they had any stories I might use for my English paper,
which was due the following Monday. To
my surprise my mother pulled out an old family bible I had never seen before
and which had information about some of her ancestors.
Nothing of real
significance happened the rest of the week.
Beth ate with Amanda and me one more time and with her other friends the
other days. We only saw D‘Lisa at a
distance during lunch the rest of the week but did talk with her during school
a few times. She and Tom had become an
item; but she was still planning on spending Friday night with us. Bekah was back on Thursday, but she seemed
different, in an unexpected sort of way; but then what did I really know to
expect. After all, despite the things
she told me, Carl must have still been kind-of like a father.
Everyone arrived
about the same time Friday night. Beth
brought a couple sacks with things from home.
Said she was going to make something for us and put the sack in the
fridge.
When Amanda
reminded me, we were going to visit Mrs. Pearson first, Beth said; “let’s make
cookies to take over.”
“I don’t know if we
have everything we need for cookies.” Nobody
in our family was really into making cookies, in fact I couldn’t remember
anyone ever even trying. Not even my
grandmother. She was a great cook but
didn’t really bake much. Probably one of
the reasons she stayed so thin all her life.
“Do you mind if I
see what you’ve got?” she asked.
“Go right
ahead. Everything we’ve got is right
there in the cupboards and fridge.”
D’Lisa started
talking to me about Tom while Amanda helped Beth look for ingredients. After just a few minutes, Beth triumphantly
announced; “we’ll have to substitute a little here and there, but we’ve just
got enough for peanut butter oatmeal cookies.”
“I’ve never heard
of peanut butter oatmeal cookies.” said D’Lisa.
“We’ll, that’s part
of the substitution,” responded Beth with a grin. “Do you guys wanna help?”
“Sure, we’re in,”
responded D’Lisa as she grabbed my arm and pulled me to the kitchen table.
It was actually
kind of fun… really. We each had just
one when they were done. They were warm
and delicious.
Amanda commented; “this
is what I call comfort food.”
We put most the
rest on a paper plate covered with aluminum foil, put our coats and boots on
and headed to Mrs. Pearson’s. My dad was
in the living room playing a game with T.J., and my mom was reading in her
chair.
“Bye mom, bye dad,
bye T.J.,” I said while everyone else said goodbye as we left the house. “We’re taking some cookies over to Mrs.
Pearson’s. Be right back.”
My dad just
chuckled and said, or rather commented; “good luck with that.” Despite the light sarcasm, I knew they were
both glad to see us going to visit her.
“Oh, and we made
cookies. Most of them are going to Mrs.
Pearson’s but there’s two for each of you on the table.”
“You made
cookies?” asked my mom.
“Beth was in charge,”
I assured them with a chuckle.
I closed the door
behind us and we all walked over to Mrs. Pearson, introducing Beth and D‘Lisa
when we arrived.
Mrs. Pearson made a
rather odd comment while I was introducing D’Lisa to her. “Oh, my dear.” she exclaimed, “you could be
such a pretty girl.” I know we were all taken
aback and surprised at her remark; however, it was obvious she was elated to
have us visit. After we were all seated,
she offered some cookies which were already on her coffee table. I was sure I saw paw prints next to the
cookie plate. We all just smiled and said,
“thank you.”
Amanda, who was
carrying the cookies we had just made, handed our plate to Mrs. Pearson and said,
“we made these for you. We hope you’ll
like them.”
“Oh, thank you
dears,” she responded. “I’ve been
meaning to ask you about that man I saw you with the other day. A nice police man came over and visited with
me about him. Who is he? What was he up to?”
“I don’t know much
about it, I think it might have had something to do with the Lings,” was all I
said.
She just responded
with a long, “hmm.” I’m sure, her imagination was going wild with the
possibilities.
Either Molly or Jack or both were having extremely noticeable gas
issues. Mrs. Pearson apologized and put
them behind a little gate in the kitchen.
“They’ll be fine in
there for a while,” she said. I keep
their food and water in there; but they usually sleep with me. We like to snuggle to keep each other warm,
especially on these cold winter nights.”
After smelling the gas, I was kind of repulsed by the thought of
sleeping with either of them. “So, what
are you girls doing in school these days?”
“We all have a big
English paper due Monday,” responded Amanda.
“We have to write about some big problem or some kind of struggle a
family member overcame. Our teacher
called it resilience.”
“Oh, that sounds so
interesting. Tell me what each of you is
writing about.” As soon as Mrs. Pearson
said that I remembered my dad’s off handed comment, ‘good luck with that!’
“I’m going to write
about one of my Nez Perce ancestors,” responded Amanda. “He was in the Nez Perce war. My dad told me about it and gave me some
books. The government made them leave
their lands. Some old man was killed by
a white guy, then somebody teased the old man’s kids about it, and they went
and killed the white guy. The Nez Perce
didn’t want a war but were kind of pushed into it. They won most of the battles, but just wanted
to get out of the US and into Canada.
It’s a long story, but they got caught in a place called Bear Paw
Montana. Most of the chiefs were
dead. Chief Joseph distracted the army
so that some of the people could make it up to Canada. One of my ancestors was one of the people who
made it to Canada and then eventually back to the reservation in Idaho.”
“I remember reading
about that dear. I always felt so bad
about what happened to them. Didn’t know
any made it up to Canada. Some of my family
used to live up in Canada, I think it was Toronto. Maybe they ran into each other.” Then turning towards D’Lisa. “And you, dear,
what are you writing about. You know,
you remind me of my sister Elsa. She was
a little full figured too you know; but not near as pretty as you.”
The bewildered
expression on D’Lisa’s face clearly said; ‘thank
you for another dis;’ but she was gracious and just let it go.
“I’m writing about
the Lemhi,” said D’Lisa. A lot of my
ancestors were Lemhi Shoshone. They were
called sheep-eaters or salmon-eaters.
For some reason, some of the Shoshone, were called by what they mostly ate. Anyway, big horn sheep and salmon were two of
their main foods. President Grant had
given them a reservation up in Idaho, close to Salmon; but the government took
it away in the early 1900’s. Some of the
Lemhi are still trying to get their lands back and go home. I’m also writing about another ancestor who
was a child during the Bear River Massacre.
Her parents, brothers and sisters were all killed. All of them really had to struggle; but they
made it. Obviously, because here I am.”
“That’s interesting
dear, called by what they ate. What
would you be called? Probably something
fattening, I bet.” Smiling, she patted D’Lisa on the knee like she was trying
to be helpful… “My babies would be called cookie. They love cookies… Oh my dear, it
doesn’t look like any of you have touched a one of them… You
probably need something to drink. I’ll
get some soda; I have some in my refrigerator.
I’ll be right back.”
Beth‘s face
grimaced in embarrassment. Amanda just
reached over and gave D’’Lisa a little squeeze.
In a few minutes Mrs. Pearson came back with four cups and some kind of
liquid stored in plastic food containers.
Pouring some of the liquid into each of the glasses, she turned to Beth
and asked; “what about you, dear, what are you going to write about?”
“I have an ancestor
who was born in Council Bluffs Iowa. Her
family was driven out of Illinois in the middle of winter because of religious
persecution. Her mom died at Council Bluffs
during the delivery, but my, great, great, great, grandmother made it to Utah,
she had to work hard; but she not only made it, she thrived, and
obviously had a family.”
We all tasted the
soda. It looked like Sprite or 7-Up; but
was totally flat, really, really gross.
Turning to me, Mrs.
Pearson asked, “how about you Anna. What
are you writing about?”
“I didn’t know
about any of this, but my mom showed me an old family bible that had some
history. I guess some of my ancestors
were French Huguenots. There were a
bunch of massacres in France, including 25,000 people killed in Paris. This wasn’t all in the family history, some
of it I looked up. Anyway, one of my
ancestors ended up immigrating to New Amsterdam, which became New York. His family lived there for a few generations
and one of his great grandchildren ended up marrying an Irish man who left
Ireland during the big potato famine.
When he got to New York, there were signs all over the place that said Irish
Need Not Apply. He was only able to
get odd jobs here and there but met this pretty French girl. Her family didn’t like him, but they got
married anyway and came west to California.
He worked in a little store and eventually opened his own place. This week is the first I’d heard any of
this. I used to think I had it tough,
but after reading what they went through, my life has been pretty easy.”
“That’s probably
why your teacher gave you the assignment.
Sometimes it’s good to put things in perspective;” said Mrs. Pearson. Then, looking at our cups, “you girls haven’t
touched your soda either?”
D’’Lisa, thinking
quickly and probably feeling a little sarcastic piped in; “Oh, I’m on a diet
and they’re all supporting me.”
“Oh… oh? Well… that’s probably a good thing.” She
sounded a little confused. “It’s good to
have supportive friends.”
We all started
hinting that we needed to get back to my place, even Amanda and Beth; but Mrs.
Pearson kept talking. Finally, the phone
rang; it was my dad asking to talk to me.
I could hear him chucking as he was talking to me. “Your mother thinks I should rescue you. Tell Mrs. Pearson your mom wants you to come
home.”
“Thanks dad.” Then
turning toward our hostess, “Sorry Mrs. Pearson; but we have to go. My mom needs us.”
The four of us
quickly got up, put our coats and boots on, and said goodbye as we left her
home.
Mrs. Pearson, one
at a time grabbed one of our hands and held it in both of hers and thanked us
for coming. When she got to D’Lisa she
held on extra-long, “I’ve got a sister with a weight problem. She was a little pudgy when she was young
too. I talked to her about it just about
every day. Tried to help her.” Then shaking her head and looking down; “poor
thing.” She doesn’t talk to me anymore. She still has a weight problem and I think
she’s too embarrassed for me to see her.
Don’t let that happen to you dear.”
D’Lisa just nodded
her head, now patting Mrs. Pearson’s hand and said with an amazing level of
sincerity and empathy; “maybe… reminding her of her own struggles, isn’t helpful,
for her. Maybe focusing on what’s good
about her would be more helpful. Does
she have any good qualities?”
“Why, why, yes, she
does. I’m just trying to be helpful.”
“Maybe you could
try in a different way.” responded D’Lisa.
We all thanked Mrs.
Pearson and a little befuddled, she thanked us for coming. As
soon as the door closed behind us Beth eagerly interjected; “that was amazing
D’Lisa. How did you come up with
that???”
“Well, I didn’t
exactly, while you guys were talking, I was thinking about what I was going to
say. My mom’s on my case a lot, it’s not
helpful and I hate it. I decided I had
to say something. I just said to Mrs.
Pearson what I’ve always wanted to say to my mom. Maybe someday I’ll get up the nerve to say it
to her too.”
“Well, good job!
D’Lisa,” responded Beth. We all agreed.
As soon as we were home;
“thanks mom, thanks dad.” AND everyone else thanked my parents too.
D’Lisa grabbed my
dad and hugged him. “And thank you,
especially from me, I don’t think I ever want to go back there.”
My dad looked
surprised.
“I’ll explain later
dad,” was all I said for the moment.
It was past 9:30
and T.J. was already in bed.
“Hey, I’m going to
make something you’re all gunna just love;” said Beth. Then, looking at my parents, “Can I use your
blender? It’ll just take a few minutes.”
“Sure, do you know
where everything is?” responded my dad.
“Oh,” Beth
sounded startled. “Somebody cleaned up
after us. Sorry about that. I meant to get it.”
“No problem, small
price to pay for the cookies. It just
took a minute and T.J. helped,” answered my dad.
Beth pulled the
sack out of the fridge that she had brought from home, found the blender, then
started adding, first from a gallon jar of milk she had brought with her.
“I’ll have to make
it a couple times to get enough for everybody.
This is whole milk from my grandpa’s place. Milk with lots of cream.” Pouring some into
the blender Beth smiled and said, “and the rest is from the grocery store. Orange juice, just a tinge of vanilla, and
some sugar. Then blend, pour, and drink,
that’s it.” She poured glasses for my
parents and T.J. and gave them for me to take into them and one to save for
T.J..
“Thanks Beth,” they
both yelled from the living room. Then
my dad added; “this is great. I hope
you’re teaching Anna how to make this.”
She then made enough and more for the rest of us. I’m not sure if it was better than my juice
bar back in San Francisco, but it was pretty dang good.
We talked until we
fell asleep. A little about the Ling
letters; but mostly just girl stuff.
Friday, February 19, 2021
Morningstar: Chapter 23: Letters
Morningstar
Chapter 23: LettersAfter dinner and clean up, Stephanie came to pick Amanda and D’Lisa up. She seemed in a really great mood, she was glad to see Amanda and Amanda was glad to see her.
I then settled into the den to read the two letters.
“Alan,
I still remember, like it was yesterday when we first laid eyes on each other. It was Dr. O’Donnell’s statistics class back in grad school. From that very first day you would stare at me, though you were much more awkward and obvious about it than most men. You were so clumsy, and I’m sorry to say, dear, you still are but that’s also one of the things most endearing about you.
It was the fourth day of class when you “accidentally” knocked over my can of Coke. It did not escape me that you made sure it went in just the perfect direction so as not to get anything on me or my papers, or any of our classmates. In-spite of your obvious clumsiness, I knew your move was perfectly calculated and thought to myself what a unique and funny approach. I’ve never let you know I knew before today, because it’s been too fun to tease you over the years. You then, of course, made the mistake of “accidentally” bringing me a Pepsi replacement the next class. To make up for your mistake, you, of course, had to take me to the student union building for lunch and another coke. All very ingenious and uniquely you my dear.
Then there was the underwear incident a few months later. I just don’t know what you were thinking; but eventually I got over it and fell victim to your silly and sometimes immature boyish magic.
Though you are at best, a clumsy romantic, I give you an A+ for continuous effort. Like many little girls, I dreamt of what it would be like to be married, and the man I would spend my life with. Alan, my dreams were never as wonderful as my reality has been with you and our children.
The other day when you were attacked, and I saw all the blood, I was terrified. I thought I would lose you. Fortunately, I had the mace on the table, was able to use it to force your attacker back. In looking back, had I not been so frightened for you, the look of horror and utter astonishment on the face of your attacker as he felt the immediate sting of the mace and fell back through, was almost comical. Fortunately, your wound was not as severe as your loss of blood suggested. I’m sorry to have to break your macho bubble; but your being able to get the knife away from your attacker and cut him just a little was only due to his shock from the mace and suddenly seeing all of us… but then deep down I think you really knew that. What you did, was very dangerous and it scared me nearly to death. If we keep doing things like this, something else will likely kill both of us before the cancer can finish my body. Remember, dear, the cancer cannot touch my soul or the memory of all who I know love me so much, especially you, our wonderful children, and dear friends.
I’ve been telling you for some time. If you play with snakes, you’re likely to get bit, and you were bitten and could have easily been killed. Where would that have left our children? They would have been without a father and just a few months later, without a mother. I could not bear that thought. We must stop this quest. I have had a wonderful life. I am at peace and deep in my soul have never been better. I have no fear of the future; but look to it with anticipation and hope. I know this is not the end. Our love will continue well past the time our mortal bodies are placed to rest.
I love you Alan, it’s time to let me go for a season until we are joined in the eternities.
Love for always, Cara
Dearest Cara,
You know me so well. Sometimes I would like to even say, too well. It has been so incredible to have a true soul mate who is so close that we know each other as we do… and still… deeply and passionately love each other despite all our flaws and mistakes, most especially mine.
I wish I had the hope and faith you do; but the thought of being without you is almost unbearable, completely intolerable. I know I would return to that clumsy and irresolute lost soul you first met so many years ago.
It is and has almost always been impossible for me to say “no” to you. I love you for many things, but one of those things is that you have rarely used that power you have over me. There will be one more opportunity for the right passage tomorrow. If doesn’t work, Bobby and I will cover the stones forever and I will cherish our remaining time together.
I will always cherish the memories and hope that someday, we will be joined in the eternities as you believe.
I love you more than you can ever know. If this does not work, I will miss you more than you can imagine. I’ll love you forever, Alan”
"Passage," “STONES,” Obviously, significant; but just way too tired to think it through.
Thursday, February 18, 2021
Morningstar: Chapter 22: Morning Star
Chapter 22: Morning Star
I found some stale
cookies someone had stashed in a drawer and between the cookies, popcorn, and
orange juice, we were feeling a little better.
My mom came down just as we were leaving and said she was going to fix dinner,
and it would be ready in about an hour.
Just enough time to get around the block and review the
Morningstar section.
“That’s
perfect. Thanks mom.”
“We’ll set the
table when we get back;” added Amanda as we walked out the door.
“Don’t worry about
it, I’ll have T.J. take care of it;” yelled my mom just as we were closing the
door.
We had a nice quick
walk around the block. Mrs. Pearson,
Molly and Jack passed us on the other side of the street. We all waved as we walked by. She looked like she would have liked to have
hurried across the street to visit, but a couple cars passed just then,
removing her opportunity as we turned the corner. I was a little relieved and justified my
feelings because we had decided to visit her next weekend.
When we got home,
we went right to the den. This section
had looked really, really long at first glance.
I pulled Bobby’s journal back up on the computer and went right to this
section planning to print it out for each of us but then realized what it
contained.
“This is
weird. There is just a little narrative
from Bobby, the rest of this is calculations for when the planet Mercury can be
seen in the early morning, in Logan, ten years ago. I don’t know how that helps us.
The rest are just a
couple notes: “The Morningstar is associated with ancient gods of goodness and
healing in many parts of the world.
Greece, Rome, Central America, and the Middle East in particular.” He then has underlined, “Everything works
by the power of the Morningstar!”
I guess that’s it
for this section. I don’t know what to
say; but let me print the letters out and we can talk about them this week at
school.” At that time, I printed out two
copies of each letter and gave a copy to D’Lisa and another to Amanda. “Please don’t share these with anyone.”
“Don’t worry, we
won’t,” responded Amanda.
“No worries;” Added
D’Lisa.
“GIRLS, COME TO
DINNER;” my mom called.
“Let me call my mom
for a ride, I’ll have her come over in about 45 minutes. That should give us enough time to eat and
help clean up.”
“Do you think I can
get a ride too?” asked D’Lisa.
“I’ll ask my mom;
but I’m sure you can.”
After a quick call
home, Amanda said; “No problem, she’ll get us in about forty minutes. Let’s go eat.”
Monday, February 15, 2021
Morningstar: Chapter 21: Stones of Light
Chapter 21: Stones of Light
This part of the
journal was short. Just a few entries
about some legends. We all thought it
had something to do with the stones we just photographed. I’m including most of what Bobby wrote. It was so short, I just summarized it out
loud to Amanda and D‘Lisa.
“There’s an ancient
Chinese legend that Alan knew about, where a minister of the emperor helped a
serpent who was sick or injured or something.
Alan didn’t remember all the details; but the serpent turned out to be
the son of the Dragon King. Because of
this kindness, the Dragon King disgorged a shining pearl that would glow both
day and night. The minister gave it to the
emperor who always wore it…
Here’s something
else, the Tzohar was a shining stone.
Some Jewish scholars believe that the word translated as window in the
account of Noah’s Ark, should actually be translated as Tzohar, or shinning
stone. These precious stones glowed in
the dark to illuminate the ark.
~
There’s also a
medieval Jewish text, the Bahir,
which talks about stones, the Dar and Socheret…
cross reference with the Book of Esther.
And, there’s
another legend about emerald carbuncle stones that would shine or glow.”
“Ok, so I’m stupid,
what’s a carbuncle?” asked Amanda.
“You’re not stupid,
you’re just brave enough to ask. I don’t
know either. How about you D’Lisa.”?
“No clue.” D’Lisa
shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.
“Well, we’ll just
have to look it up.”
I grabbed the
dictionary sitting on the desk next to the computer and turned to
carbuncle. My face must have revealed my
disgust.
“So… what is it?”
Asked Amanda.
“Oh, you really
don’t want to know.”
“Oh yes, we do
respond D’Lisa;” as I handed her and Amanda the dictionary.
“Gross,” they both
replied. According to the dictionary it
was a pustule, boil, large pimple or abscess of some kind.
Amanda then
interjected; “You said these carbuncle stones were emerald, don’t forget,
that’s another green!”
Amanda was still
looking at the dictionary in D’Lisa’s hands; “Oh, wait,” Amanda grabbed the
dictionary from D‘Lisa‘‘s. “You missed a definition. It’s also a gemstone.”
“OK, that’s a
relief and it makes more sense. There’s just a little more in this part of the
journal. Let’s finish so we can get done
with the next section before you have to leave.
I’ll print out copies of the two letters to take home and we can talk
about them this week. Sound good?”
Both Amanda and
D‘Lisa nodded their head. We were all
getting tired of this brain overload.
“I’ll just
summarize again. The next section is
just about a stone called the waking stone.
This legend came from Medieval Europe.
It just talked about a stone that was supposed to emit a green light of
some kind and kept people awake… Sounds like a bright green streetlight we once
had outside our house in San Francisco.
It was about to go out and kept flickering on and off. Very annoying. Anyway…
The last part is kind of interesting.
I’ll read it to you.”
“Alan, Cara, and I,
all saw a magnificent alter of stone from around the year 50 BC, we think. It had both green and white stones. It was a powerful, holy place. We believe it was on top of the hill, but
we’re not certain. Later we saw rock
cairns that appeared to have some of the stones from the original altar. Over time the cairn would be destroyed and
rebuilt. We believe the stones on the
outside of the house, are just a few of the stones from the alter and
cairns. They were probably brought here
from another place.”
“What does that
mean?” asked Amanda.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what any of this means. It really doesn’t make any sense. …
Wait, there’s one
more section. It’s so short I didn’t
even notice it until we got here. Not
even one sentence. The heading is: Wormholes. All it says is Einstein-Rosen was almost right.”
“Aren’t wormholes
in space??? Does that mean the Lings are,
on another planet???” asked Amanda.
“Oh, I don’t think
so... Let’s take a break, clear our
brains, and get something to eat.” The
three of us got up slowly and walked to the kitchen.
Looking at Amanda
with pangs of hunger, D’Lisa said; “I wish your mom was here.”
“Why?” asked Amanda.
“So, she could cook
us something really good.”
Both Amanda and I
laughed then I said, “sorry, we’ll just have to eat what we got… I know,
nothing looks good. … How about some popcorn and juice? It’s not Stephanie’s cooking, but it’s ok for
a Sunday afternoon. I think either my
mom or dad will make dinner in about an hour.
After our popcorn and juice, we can go for a fast walk around the block
to wake up. Hopefully, we can avoid Mrs.
Pearson and the babies.”
“I like Mrs.
Pearson;” rebutted Amanda, “she might have saved our lives. At the very least, she saved the box.”
“You’re right.” I
admitted just a little embarrassed at my shallow comment. Trying to make it up I added; “We should go
over and thank her. Tell ya what. Let’s visit her when you’re all over next
Friday. She’ll like that.”
“Sounds like a
plan;” responded Amanda.
Followed by “sure!”
from D’Lisa as she smiled and nodded her head.
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