Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Morningstar: Recovery

 

Morningstar: Recovery

 

Introduction

 

          A school counselor once told me, writing things down could help me organize my thoughts, make better sense of things, and let go.  I guess my password protected hard drive is the only place where I can totally express my feelings and record the repulsive, pugnacious, grizzly (stupid pun intended…   (Maybe that’s a sign there’s a flicker of mental health still inside me someplace) ……  The horribly grizzly experiences of the last day/year of my life.  Pierre knows most of it, my mom knows some of it, but if I was to tell all of it to anyone, I’m sure they’d put me away. … Sometimes I think that might be a relief.

          One thing I’ve learned from all of this is that sometimes, living is, the harder and even more heroic decision.  I decided soon after this all started that I was going to live, no matter what.

         

My first thoughts after Sid pulled me through were that either he had killed me, and I’d gone to some-kind-of-hell, or he’d somehow drugged me, and I was having some kind of horrific hallucination.  Slowly, I realized, to my horror, it was no hallucination, I wasn’t dead; but I had gone to hell.

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